


When Love Arrives

by cassiopeiasara



Category: Ghostbusters (2016)
Genre: F/F, Five Times +1, Mention of a miscarriage, Patty centric, So many 80s references, a bit of a character study
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-13
Updated: 2016-10-13
Packaged: 2018-08-22 06:17:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8275757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cassiopeiasara/pseuds/cassiopeiasara
Summary: Five Times love found Patty Tolan and the one time it stayed.





	

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Not beta'd because I was too excited to post this. 
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own Patty or Holtzmann but the rest of these characters are mine. I seek no profit. Title from the poem quoted at the beginning.

> _When love arrives, say, “Welcome. Make yourself comfortable.”_
> 
> _If love leaves, ask her to leave the door open behind her._
> 
> _Turn off the music, listen to the quiet, whisper,_
> 
> _“Thank you for stopping by.”_

~“When Love Arrives” by Sarah Kay and Phil Kaye

Patty's ten and his name is Jeremy Roller. He sits in front of her in Sunday School and he's going to be an astronaut. He likes to read like she does and he's not afraid to use every crayon in the coloring box despite a few of the other boys telling him pink is for girls. He shakes his head and yells back how is he to draw the sunset with only black, blue and green at his disposal.  

He's funny and he smiles every time Patty asks him to pass her an extra sheet of paper. She dreams about him throughout the week and has just learned the perfect way to swirl their names together in a heart when he moves to New Orleans. They have one Sunday left and when she finally confesses her feelings, he kisses her on the cheek, mourning what could have been.

* * *

She's fifteen and her name is Maria Ramos. She's one year older and lives in the building across the street from Patty's. Her long black hair falls in soft waves and Patty delights in the way she hums when she concentrates.

She teaches Patty the secret to eye shadow and the best ways to fit colors together. Patty wonders when they go to see _Flashdance_ and their hands brush if this is something any other woman ever feels for another. (Normally she would just look these things up but she’s too afraid of what the librarian might say.)

They're never apart except for school and the butterflies that fill Patty’s stomach, eventually swarm to other parts of her body and she feels like she’s on fire any time Maria is near.

One afternoon, they lay out on a blanket in the middle of Patty’s room with their feet in opposite directions but their faces side by side.

"Where do you wanna end up Patty?"

Patty pulls in her bottom lip as she considers the question. She's read about so many places she'd like to go but when she thinks of where she wants to stay, it's always the same. "Here, I like the city. I don't think I could leave it."

Maria sighs and shakes her head. "I wanna be somewhere warmer where I can go to the beach. Spend more than just a few months out of the year in my bikini."

Patty starts to list off possibilities and Maria laughs. Patty always likes the way Maria's laugh starts out quiet then builds. A soft wave that matches her hair.

"You always know so much Patty, you could go anywhere and you don't wanna leave this block."

Patty shrugs. "There are places I want to go but you asked where I want to end up."

Maria sits up and leans her cheek in her palm. She starts to trace patterns on Patty’s rug.

"You ever been in love?"

Patty thinks about Jeremy but she's not sure that counts. She peers up at Maria. "I thought I was once but," she stops as she notices Maria's face has gone really serious. "What's wrong?" She asks.

Maria shakes her head. "It's not always fun and it's not always right."

Patty quirks an eyebrow. "What are you talking about?"

Maria sits up fully then. "I gotta go. See you tomorrow?"

Patty nods her head and replays the conversation several times before she goes to bed. There was something more Maria wanted to say but Patty realizes she has no idea how to ask. Three weeks later, Maria kisses her under the guise of too much alcohol and Patty gets her first taste of what it's like to love someone she can't have.

* * *

She's seventeen and his name is Jed Johnson. It reminds Patty of the kind of name a superhero would have. He’s taller than her which is a rarity and he could pass for Theo Huxtable’s twin.

He wears Old Spice and sweater vests. They talk for hours on end about their classes and what they’re reading. He plans to go to Morehouse for college and Patty considers for the first time what it might be like to leave the city.

They go to dinner to celebrate finishing their college applications.

He nods at her and asks, “Did you apply to Spellman?”

Patty shrugs. “I did but I don’t know Jed, my moms is sick and I don’t think I could leave.”

He smiles softly. “Well, we still got the rest of the year and who knows, maybe she’ll get better.”

Patty offers a smile back and knows this is why she loves him so much. His optimism is never failing and he doesn’t make her feel bad when she says no to things.

They go to homecoming and prom, he helps her remember to get out even though her mother is home more and more these days and Patty never wants to leave her.

They get their acceptance letters. Jed is off to Morehouse and Patty settles on The City College of New York.

She follows him to the airport and tries not to think of it like a goodbye. “You be back for Christmas.”

He smiles and nods. “Course.”

It’s not the same when he returns but his friendship remains and Patty learns that sometimes that’s one of the best things to come from love.  

* * *

Patty is twenty-two and her name is Shamika Williams. Shamika is a fighter with a fire that never goes out and Patty can’t help but fall hard for the outspoken human rights activist.

Patty follows her to meetings and protests and falls in love with giving back as much as she does with Shamika. Patty is happy to do all of things that she dreamed of when Maria stole her heart. Shamika’s passion seeps into everything she does and Patty soaks it up like a sponge.

Shamika teaches Patty that as much as the world weighs down on her sometimes, Patty deserves love. A love that will fill her up and help her stay steady in an often chaotic world. In the end, Shamika explains that she’s just not the one to give it to her.

“You deserve the world Patricia Tolan and I’m too busy tryin’ a save it.”

Patty shakes her head. “But I want to be-”

Shamika kisses her cheek. “Maybe in another life. I’m going to Texas for a rally after graduation. Don’t forget to keep fighting.”

Patty starts to feel like maybe love isn’t something she’ll ever understand.

* * *

She's thirty-three and his name is Tyler Jackson. He's an accountant with a bright smile and a good head on his shoulders.

She’s thankful for Tyler’s sensibility. It’s a comfort really and they spend their time attending history lectures, museums and curled up at home watching _The West Wing_. She thinks of Jed those nights and hopes he found a nice Southern girl (or guy) to settle down with.

Tyler cooks well and he’s kind enough to rub her feet at the end of the day.

He takes her to Central Park one afternoon and they lay out a picnic near one of Patty’s favorite trees. When he pulls out a bottle of champagne, Patty tilts her head in question.

“What’s that for?”

Tyler adjusts his glasses and offers a pathetic attempt at a shrug. “Nothing.”

Patty laughs at how horrific a liar her boyfriend is. “Come on Ty, really.”

He laughs too. His laughs are always low and short like he’s letting Patty in on a secret. He pulls a black velvet box from his pocket and moves to kneel.

Patty drops her glass and cries as she says yes.

Three years later and they lose their second baby. Patty has read the statistics about what happens when couples lose children but she holds out hope they’ll be different.

Tyler leaves a year later, his smile is so much dimmer than it used to be. She hates how much it hurts but she lets him go with no contest. She can’t fault him for needing to move on.

Tyler teaches her that sometimes the desire to stay isn’t enough.

* * *

Patty is forty-eight and she never finds the words to explain Holtzmann. She’s smart, wacky, and Patty can’t recall a time in her life where she’s laughed so much.

Their relationship takes Patty by surprise. At first, she feels that Holtzmann is the kind of genius that can only hold space in her life for one love and it seems to Patty that love is science (and food she reasons but that doesn’t really count.)

She starts to leave Patty little notes in her books. _You fell asleep on this page_ , _You smiled here_ , _You told me to stop flirting with death on this line_. Thoughtful isn’t exactly the word Patty would use for them but they make her feel something she thought she lost when Ty left.

She always takes Patty’s hand and engages her in a dance party when Patty’s been reading too long or after a particularly trying day.

Their first kiss happens when Erin and Abby leave after movie night.

Holtzmann climbs into her lap and gives Patty that sideways grin that never fails to remind her of a cheshire cat.

“Hey Patty?” she asks.

Patty quirks an eyebrow. “Yeah?”

Holtz leans forward just a little. “Think I could kiss ya?”

Patty smiles and nods. “I’d like that baby,” she answers and it feels all at once like coming home and bursting into flames.

Holtzmann is more affectionate than anyone Patty has ever been with and it’s interesting to note. She is always touching her like she can’t believe Patty’s real.

Holtzmann eases into Patty’s heart like she belongs there and Patty learns that sometimes when you don’t even suspect it, love stays.


End file.
